EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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