I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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