I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
