Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
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We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
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Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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