Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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