i will never coherently bang her
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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