dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
