she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
