You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
