I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
