The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
