i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
