He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
