She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
