i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
