Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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