he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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