69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Boobs speak an international language.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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