her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
