If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
