My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
