This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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