I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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