Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
