And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Randomize
