If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
