next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
