Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
