hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
