Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I need moral support for this bender
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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