Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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