She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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