Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize