hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
