Define "chronic" masturbator.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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