His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
