Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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