So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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