i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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