i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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