I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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