My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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