Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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