are you so shy because you have an std?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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