he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
