just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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