Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
