Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
