he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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