At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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