So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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