pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
