Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
