Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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