I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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