I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize