I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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