At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
