He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
