Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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