We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
