well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
