Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Me and my dog bond so much when im high.

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(407): Me and my dog bond so much when im high. http://tfl.nu/9nf2

Replies (66) Good night (7481) Bad night (904)
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(361): View more from Texas

yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.

(361): View more from Texas

I just can't bring boyfriends home.

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(361): yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable. (361): I just can't bring boyfriends home. http://tfl.nu/mnpp

Replies (29) Good night (1177) Bad night (4698)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.

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(814): an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high. http://tfl.nu/ivcn

Replies (16) Good night (4670) Bad night (889)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines

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(970): I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines http://tfl.nu/icc2

Replies (9) Good night (2976) Bad night (1234)
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(417): View more from Missouri

woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.

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(417): woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before. http://tfl.nu/td38

Replies (4) Good night (1552) Bad night (573)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.

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(414): No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student. http://tfl.nu/q9kq

Replies (9) Good night (2355) Bad night (871)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.

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(860): You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie. http://tfl.nu/zzfj

Replies (17) Good night (3469) Bad night (1087)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...

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(763): My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home... http://tfl.nu/n3b5

Replies (3) Good night (1629) Bad night (512)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.

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(515): Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number. http://tfl.nu/1xqc

Replies (6) Good night (1772) Bad night (848)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.

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(413): Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like. http://tfl.nu/c9vg

Replies (8) Good night (427) Bad night (1570)
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(863): View more from Florida

Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials

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(863): Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials http://tfl.nu/uibd

Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (498)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.

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(908): I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country. http://tfl.nu/dr7f

Replies (2) Good night (895) Bad night (263)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.

(1-601): View more from Mississippi

Oh my god.

(1-601): View more from Mississippi

The ballsiest level.

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(601): So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore. (1-601): Oh my god. (1-601): The ballsiest level. http://tfl.nu/5u5w

Replies (1) Good night (787) Bad night (536)
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(229): View more from Georgia

Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.

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(229): Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat. http://tfl.nu/64z4

Replies (15) Good night (451) Bad night (1081)
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(214): View more from Texas

NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS

(630): View more from Illinois

Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.

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(214): NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS (630): Fine. Suck all the fun out of life. http://tfl.nu/x7gr

Replies (4) Good night (654) Bad night (291)

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