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• (650): View more from California

  Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like abortions should bother me more

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (309): View more from Illinois

  stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.

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• (530): View more from California

  I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.

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• (310): View more from California

  Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.

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