It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
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