Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
