Sponge bath it is.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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