i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
you made out with another girl for some wings
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
